Im sitting here, trying to organize the mess that is my mind. I lay here in wonder about this whole love thing.
I feel like i fell to fast again because what i've said, he wont repeat. We've gotten past the "i love you" already. Just there is something more complex involved now.
I feel embarrassed. Like he should've been the first, not me. Maybe i jumped the gun? I feel so strongly for him, never like i have for anyone before. But if its real like i believe, why is he hesitating? I said "i love you forever." I know...i know...i've done this before. Now im with a different guy, and he's off in texas and single. Whatever. That was different. The problem here is that why is he more scared of commitment than i am? I mean, i've been through a lot rougher, and here i am wanting another man on his knee. Am i seriously just in love with being in permenant love...or am i?
Why did i even second guess that. *Bonk* I am...
I guess..the things worth fighting for and waiting for are the things that are the most worthy or your time?
I asked him why he's scared. He just wants to be completely sure...and i tell him there is no 100% chance of knowing that. And thats why he says thats where he is...never make something permanet. Dont set goals that can break.
He's just protecting himself i guess...its the only reasoning that i can think of that keeps me sain. That keeps me from not having a torn heart. I got off the phone with him earlier tonight...he had to sleep...he left during the conversation...we hung up and i just felt that pain in my chest..and i started to cry.
Baby it hurts to wait, but ill do it.
you're the only one for me.
4.6.08
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
So.. blame it all on me, my job caused all this, my shit caused all this. Or maybe is it you not understanding or you not being a little compasionate. No, its all my fault cause i work all the time, well im fucking sorry my job is important to me, and my image is important to me. Ya, and it has nothing to do with your jobs, its all mine, all my fault. Sorry if today was an insanely shitty day, and i get mad when the only thing i have to look forward to is you, and you are already pissed off at me when we talk. Sorry if i cant come down to your work cause i dont have a top...
Im starting to see how everthing is my fault, maybe without me youd be alot happier?
Post a Comment